All that i could sense was the skin of my feet against the cold tiles. I looked at myself, unable to recognise who was looking back at me.I stared hard into the mirror to understand whether I had lost myself in time or had time consumed me with it. I had the answer to none. The small 4X4 room reverbated with various other questions. The answer to none I had. Leading to the similar social suffocation, again.
The numbness sank into my feet and I rested myself against the cold tiles,wondering. Wondering, what now??
With all gone, with all too busy to notice me gone?
I wondered what now?
Years of pain/betrayal/hypocrisy had made me immune,immune to feel hurt. I had forgetten how to cry, how to express what I felt.
I sat with myself against the cold tiles and looked at the water trickling down from the tap and flow down the floor and disappear into the drain. My heart ached and longed for my eyes to drip and trickle tears down...How much I wished I could cry. How much I wished I could just extinguish the light that I held within my fingers and go out and shout at you,tell you much you have hurt me, how I felt nothing more than an object that you possess. How I have been just waiting to turn to see that I have been waiting for you, waiting for that smile, waiting for you to hold me in your arms, waiting to weep in your arms...and how I have been waiting.... for you....
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